Overheard Week Two
Here’s what you crazy kids (actually, lots of actual kids) were talking about at Raimondi during week two—Return of the Jackalope!
“What’s a jackalope?” Looks up jackalope on phone…shamefully not on Dispatches “Oh. It looks like a gopher. We have gophers here.”
“Girl, that’s not a gopher.”
Two older folks approach a young staff member, mid-teens
“Is this your first job?”
“Yeah!”
“Congratulations!”
Later, the same young staff member is in charge of corralling a large group of very…excited kids just a few years younger than him
“I can’t control these kids!” Then, I kid.you.not. “Kids these days!”
Scrappy’s Birthday Big Board Animal Quiz. What can a possum like Scrappy do that’s special:
a) run really fast
b) dance
c) make everyone smile
d) all of the above
“THIS IS RIGGED!”
Two older women, locked in, who legitimately and awesomely know more about baseball than anyone
“That’s a check swing! Check down the line! Check with the first base ump!”
“Run through the base! Run THROUGH the base!”
From 200 feet away “That pitch is low! LOW!” Batter challenges, call is changed to a ball “See? What did I tell you!”
“There is a bird in the net! Do not hit a ball into the net! Repeat, there is a bird in the net!”
“Good thing you’re here.”
“Oh, NO. There are two birds now”
Guy comes back with armful of food and drink, looks at the scoreboard.
“Oh, that got out of hand in a hurry.”
“This math does not add up…and how do you get 91 runs on no hits?”
And it was not, in fact, 91-3.
“The one thing you need to do is make sure not to drink all of your [Pineapple Whip]. It has a lot of sugar in it.”
“But didn’t you drink your whole drink?”
“…Yeah.”
“How are you feeling?”
“…Powerful.”
“These people are all staying here at the game because they have a different bedtime than me.”
And one from slightly outside Raimondi.
I’m driving in my neighborhood and see a guy wearing a Ballers shirt.
Me: “Hey, go Ballers!"
Dad: “Go Ballers! Have you been to any games so far this year?”
Me: “Yeah, a few. I’m a big fan.”
Dad: “Well my son is Dylan Porter, one of the pitchers. He just pitched yesterday. His first ever professional start! I think he did pretty well.”
Lesson is, say hi to anyone repping the B; you never know which starting pitcher’s family you might meet.
