So. The Ballers are chasing the Pioneer League’s best record. It might be the best in 50ish years of independent and rookie-league ball, it might be the best ever. And the Pioneer League’s been around since 1939. Imagine what FDR would think of GPS. Nobody even knew how far a moonshot really was. Every phone call started with “gimme Baker two-four-seven.” You might see a ball game and then catch The Wizard of Oz at a theater and then curl up with a first edition of The Grapes of Wrath. The New York World’s Fair opened with the “The World of Tomorrow” theme but did not include TikTok, Goldendoodles, or quinoa power bowls. Somehow Nevada Cullen is both a man of his time and a name and vibe straight out of Golden Era radio.

These days, we’re celebrating Pride and Dia de los Ballers and UC Berkeley with some of the biggest crowds of the season; our nights are pro-symphony and anti-cancer. There were TWO walkoffs. Here’s what was overheard in the Raimondi stands.

What cake can I make for you for your birthday? What do you want? I have tofu.

I have a bunny I take everywhere. He’s the coolest guy. I’ll bring him to the next homestand.

He has a bio test tomorrow.
Well, get up in the morning and study! Stay one more inning!
Ugh. Remember summer?

Atop general admission. These stairs aren’t regulation. They are tough!

I’m unhireable, but I will volunteer the shit out of that.

I want more kitchen, less people.

I legally can have only one waffle a day.
That’s not a rule for anybody.

After a certain 22-9 loss, a certain celebrity drinks vendor: That was the ass-kicking we needed.

One time I got stoned and rode around the National Mall listening to Bill Withers.
That sounds great.
You have no idea.

Possibly the Oakland 68’s newest greatest chant: I LIKE JAM. I LIKE PRESERVES.

He’s a performative male. Like he invented feminism.

It’s like you’re humping the water. That’s how you become a mermaid.

I made out with Rob Lowe in high school.

How many Cirque du Soleil performers are former firefighters? Or the other way around?
Not zero.

That guy’s the beer batter for the whole game? It’s going to be a long day for the both of us.

It’s hard to catch a ball.

What did I miss?
Six runs, two people smashing each other in huge plastic balls…I thought both of them were dead. Then Scrappy came by and gave your mother a hug. So, I’d say, pretty much everything.

How did they used to do that? You read the lines on your hand and they would tell you that meant something. Then they’d tell you, like, something about your fingers being bigger than your face and you had some dreaded disease and you’d put your hand up like this to check and (hand is smashed into face)…yeah, that.