Overheard at Raimondi
You all are talking about some wonderful and weird stuff this first weekend of the season. Maybe it’s the perfect weather or the Monday off, but I am here for it.
Two people my age listening to a song at the block party that is definitely not This Is How We Do It.
"This is how we do it…This is how we do it…This is how we do it…”
Watching the Lincoln Square Lions Dance Team
“I used to do this when I was a kid.”
“Were you the head?”
“No I was small. I was the tail.”
“I was the number one volunteer of the quarter. They’re going to do a little presentation at some point.” (Learn more about being a Ballunteer for awesome prizes and celebrations)
While staring straight at a one-year-old in mom’s arms
“Oh, but I didn’t know you were pregnant at that point. Were you telling people? Oh. Well, you didn’t tell me. So I was very surprised. No, I mean, I just thought that you would. I’m sure you had a lot of people to tell. Anyway. And now, here you are! Your mama, she didn’t even tell me that you existed at one point and now here you are!”
Student (2nd grade?): “Hi Miss _____!”
Teacher: “Hi ____!”
Mom: “She really wanted to come over and say hi to you. You’re her favorite teacher. I heard you two are reading buddies?”
Teacher (moves Trumer Pils tall boy down out of sight): “Yes! Reading buddies is one of my favorite parts of the week.”
Is this one of the Ballers’ co-founders checking Dispatches during the game? Definitely.
"I had a dream the other day that you were hit by a truck.”
“I almost was hit by a truck!”
“When?”
“On Wednesday!”
Third friend: “I’ve been hit by a car five times. 60% of them were Prii. Mostly in crosswalks. Mostly they just slowly back into me and I have to bang on the car until they notice me.”
To a middle-aged white man
“As a middle-aged white man, the things you have to go get through in a day are so tough.”
Two bald guys
“We are both two tightly shorn handsome dudes.”
After a call is overturned on replay
“I HATE TECHNOLOGY! THE FUTURE SUCKS!
Kid reading the box score
“We’re already down 200 points?!?”
“This was so easy today. We found parking right on the street.”
“What about foul balls?”
“Oh we’re definitely around the corner.”
Father to son (age 10?), discussing the houses at Ellis at Central Station on 18th, beyond the outfield
“Well, I think the signs are mostly for where people park their cars. And I don’t think they could really hit a ball that far. But yeah, their homeowner’s insurance probably covers it.”
“BEHOLD, COTTON CANDY!”
“Yeah, it’s a new Ballers hat. I really like it…
But my head is too wide this way…
The hat is good but it reminds me that my head is messed up.”
Discussing color-blindness
“Your orange could be my dark gray.”
“Your orange could be my darker gray.”
20-somethings, looking at the playground just outside Raimondi
“Hey, when was the last time you did the monkey bars? I was so good at jumping off swings. Well, one time I broke my leg. But one of my friends jumped off and bit his tongue off.”
“Oh damn. Does your tongue grow back?”
“I think you have to reattach it, like put it on ice.”
“You put tongues on ice?”
“I think anything that has blood in it you put on ice.”
“And then what?”
“They like, sew it back together. Otherwise I guess you can’t ever talk again.”
“Well, you’d hate that.”
“Birds, you gotta get out of here! You’re going to get hit by a ball!”
After the player introductions alongside kids and one youngster’s especially arduous trek back to the stands
“Of course we had the tiniest kid run all the way out there. But that’s what makes it cute.”
“And there’s that German guy, Lou, and when they say it it sounds like everyone’s booing. But they’re not.”
“That’s awesome. At work, when everyone is booing me, they are booing me.”
“I got kettle corn and I paid for it but I forgot it…but I am an owner.”
“…It’s just a huge pool and you can spend all day there.”
“How much pee is in that water, per cubic meter?”
“A little bit more now.”
“We waxed his back the other day…and then he put out.”
Fit of the weekend:
Oakland Colonels Vintage Baseball Club
